One of the questions I get from my clients is “What is my purpose?” This usually stems from feeling stuck in their life and wondering if they should be doing something more impactful.
I was listening to an interview from an online summit called “Moms on Purpose” and the woman being interviewed said that our only purpose is to be doing what brings us joy. So if you like to hang out with your family and friends or do your hobbies, would that be your purpose?
Some of us think that our purpose means that we need to make a big difference in the world. We think of the world’s problems and how we can solve them. You might be thinking, jeez, I don’t even have time to clean my kitchen sink! You might be just scraping by with a more then full time job, a mortgage, a house to clean, and kids to feed.
If you are just being you, that’s your purpose. If you’re making choices that are yours and not your mother’s or your spouse’s, then you’re fulfilling your purpose.
But when you choose not to make a change, like staying in a bad relationship or job or not speaking out about something that is important to you, then you are not fulfilling your purpose. What feels right can also feel scary.
I made the scary choice to leave my job of ten years. I was so worried that I would miss aspects of the work that I liked and that I would let people down. The truth is that I didn’t look back with regret. There were parts of the work that I missed but letting it go allowed me to bring in work that I enjoy even more.
There can be a treasure of lessons when you make the scary choice. But when you trust that the choice you are making that aligns with your purpose, then you have everything to gain because you are letting go of parts that aren’t you to make room for more of you!
For years, I would second guess every decision I made. I would ask my mom, my husband, and my friends if they thought I was making the right choice. It was almost as if I needed their “approval” before moving forward. If they didn’t agree, then I would reconsider only to be in the same predicament years later. When I finally trusted myself and my intuition, I felt happier. I was finally expressing my voice that I kept hidden for so many years. I felt worthy.
In Anita Moorjani’s memoir, Dying to Be Me, Anita discovers, after her near death experience, that she had manifested cancer in her body because she was fulfilling everyone else’s expectations. After visiting the “other side,” she decided to live and quickly healed herself by believing in her “true magnificence” until there was no trace of cancer left in her body!
When you develop trust in yourself, the next step is to give yourself permission to make the choice that feels good (or scary!). Remember, you only need permission from you, not anyone else. If you decide to make the big leap (or a small one), trust yourself again. Trust the process. When you choose what is right for you, you might piss some people off so find some good support!
Here’s a meditation to kick everyone out of your space so that you can easily go within and develop your trust. Close your eyes and imagine a cord at the base of your spine that connects with the center of the earth. Expand the cord to resemble a tree trunk that attaches around your hips. Imagine letting go of everything from your body that doesn’t serve your highest good. It could be a conversation you had with a co-worker, an irritating thought about someone, or any feelings of unworthiness.
Watch all of this energy exit your body, down the tree trunk and into the center of the earth. After letting go for a few minutes, imagine a golden sun about ten times the size of your body above your head. In the sun, see a rose with a magnet inside and intend to call into this rose all of your energy-past, present and future.
Add any qualities that would feel good to you in the moment like clarity, gratitude, trust, and loving kindness. Imagine popping the sun and watching the golden light flow into the top of your head and all the way down to your toes, filling in every cell, muscle fiber and bone. When you feel full of the golden light, open your eyes and stretch!
In love and light,